6. Well, well... water and a crime scene

Dr Bessel van der Kolk coined the phrase, "the body keeps the score", and apparently the land does too. In decades past, there have been 7 unsuccessful wells dug for water on our land. They all came up dry. After a few years of tracking the land and studying the ground for any inclination of water, my husband decided to remove a large swath of deep earth with his excavator. He had been watching this site for 2 years before he made the first cut. At first only sections of clay were removed, then the layers changed; the piles of dirt and clay in the excavator's bucket started turning darker and my husband jumped out of his excavotor and pulled handfuls of it towards his heart and peered down into this gaping hole. Nothing much to see, but he has been excavating for over 30 years and knows how to read the land's language, it was speaking to him. He continued to take out a few more swaths, and the content of his bucket turned to gravel. He jumped out again and stood towering over what we hoped would be the site of our well. He screamed my name, "Steph!", and I came running down the hill towards him. He found a spring! It was running through the gravel layer and it blessed our eyes with the sight of pure, clean, untainted fast-flowing water. Florian took his instrument back in hand, fired up his excavator, and continued to dig with precision. We needed the site of our well to be much bigger so we could store more water. He had to expand the hole and shape it into a massive rectangle and during his finessing, he discovered another spring on the opposite end of the rectangle! This was magical. The amount of spring water rushing out of the gravel layers was waterfall-like- on both ends! We felt like we struck gold, and we sort of did. We both felt supreme relief, then Florian noticed something.

Near the edge of what we now call the well, was something dark and unnatural. Being careful not to disturb our newly discovered well site, Florian, my husband, scraped it with his excavator and discovered a box spring mattress! Immediately, he swiped behind it, on the opposite side, away from the well, and discovered not just a box spring, but multiple pipes, twisted up barbed wire, metal pieces, and what he thought might be part of... a car! He continued to dig backwards, away from the well, and found more and more garbage. Our hearts sunk: we realized previous land stewards designated this spot to be their dump and it was right next to the source of not one, but two springs! Not only did we have to remove all of this garbage, but our hearts sank as reality set it. Was this pristine water source contaminated? Exactly how much garbage are we talking?

That winter, we tracked the water level through the driest part of the year. In our area, the end of February would tell our fortune or lack thereof. We needed confirmation this was a year-round spring before we dug up the garbage. Our hopes were reinvigorated when we realized the water was a year round spring! Hallelujah! The water table in this massive, deep rectangle did not go down very much during a winter with hardly any snow. We had faith it was a stable source of water so we resumed clean up.

The metal box springs were removed along with the pipes, cow bones, twisted balls of barbed wire, old furnaces, and tons of baling twine. It was now time to remove what we thought was a car- only it was not a car, it was an old truck, and the engine and transmission were still intact! With tears in my eyes, and shock in my body, I filmed the release of this truck. (see pic) I felt the earth exhale because she could finally breathe again. He shook off the dirt with his machine and folded up the frame, crushing it into a manageable size for his dump truck. The metal can now be properly recycled.

I was overwhelmed with a hyper-pronounced feeling of gratitude and a simultaneous wave of anger. I almost threw up. We were now dealing with contaminated dirt that had to be removed before we could build our well.

Yes, the land could breathe again, but she was coughing and still choking. It felt like a crime scene. In the end, Florian removed a crater sized hole of contaminated dirt and filled it in with clean dirt. Our well site and the springs remain untouched, and we can once again return to our original project... the building of our well and our dreams.

When you dream big, the hurdles often match in intensity- at least for us it has. We have been tested on every level both as individuals, as a couple, our marriage, and our path as parents. We remain committed and unwavering. Nothing has come easy since we bought this ranch, but our faith, shared vision, dreams and values, and our collective skills keep us going.

Heavy machinery and the necessary skills are invaluable here. My soul quivered as I witnessed my husband un-earth some of the land's trauma. We are healing it together. Having someone witness you, and be with you as you heal your own trauma is equally freeing. It allows you to breathe again, more deeply and experience relief from a burden that was once buried.

I am hopeful that you too breathe deep, and open yourself up where you are stuck and not bury your garbage nor hide your treasures. Often the deepest release is directly tied to the greatest blessings. You have a source within you, like a spring of ever-fresh water that waits to be freed. Never forget that.