5. Ready & Willing, Are you Able?

Let's begin by recalling the many times in your life that you have successfully solved a problem. This could be anything from navigating a relationship difficulty, planting a garden, starting a new exercise routine or completing a project. These are definite successes, but have you ever felt ready and willing to approach a problem or challenge and NOT been able to do anything about it? You were ready, you were willing, but you lacked the ability to move forward in one way or another? This blog is for you.

Often times an expectation or recommendation is given to you without any consideration of whether or not you are fundamentally able to make the desired change. For example, will your body or your environment allow certain changes to happen? Sometimes a goal cannot be handled in the way you want to handle it. Sometime you have to wait until a situation or circumstance passes and sometimes, well, it just cannot be done. With this in mind, ability may be your obstacle. Not your willingness, your desire, or your readiness. Just the cold hearted facts; the inability to do something about it.

This is where creativity, grit, and determination come in handy, and I’ve been there. I’ve become a master shape shifter, transforming the rocks and hard places in life. When I get pinched between those two, flexibility seems like the only way out. Sometimes the compromise is forced, but it often leads to an opening where the ability to create change becomes available again. Let me share a recent example.

Once upon a time, I had a cushy home with a large room to exercise in. Cherrywood floors, massive windows, oh, it was magnificent and I was spoiled. I took my sense of comfort and security for granted. It was a beautiful home in the mountains. I was up by 6am most mornings to get my exercise checked off my self-care list. I meal planned and meal prepped in a glorious kitchen. The walls could echo there was so much physical space in that home.

About a year or so after we purchased and moved into our new ranch house, the toxic mold that was hiding in our new house made us all very sick. Inadvertently, we moved to the intersection of humble and desperation. The comfort of our old home was long gone and our future seemed uncertain. Currently, we still live on our ranch, but we evacuated into an RV which is downhill from “the moldy house.” This is where I contemplated how crucial ability is and how it can be an obstacle many professionals overlook.

It’s easy for professionals to say, “get some exercise” or “meal prep for the week” or even something as simple as “light a candle to remind yourself of your own inner light.” I frequently say these things to myself and I coach others to do the same, but without assessing one's ability to do these things, ability can be an overlooked obstacle. The fact is, ability can vary over time. For example, I never thought I would say, "I don’t have the space to light a candle". I didn’t think that could ever be my reality, but currently, I do not have the ability to do this due to lack of counter space in the RV.

That is a fact; both the counter space and the oven in an RV are miniature. Regarding food prep, I cannot use a full size sheet plan to roast vegetables, much less roast a turkey. Similarly, the fridge is too small to hold multiple days of prepped meals or sides. Along with the counter space, most of the floor space is spoken for too; there will be no 6am sweat sessions with my daughter sleeping on the pull-out couch in the living room. There will be no soaking in a bathtub to reset a fried nervous system. There will be no jumping of any kind in the RV- it feels like an earthquake when the dryer spins. No quiet meditation while cooking dinner. The TV is basically in the kitchen and it is frequently on after school. Are you seeing dead ends because at one point, I did too. It wasn’t until I began looking at what I am ABLE to do that my perspective started to shift, and compromise took over.

I would not wish full-time RV living on anyone, but it has taught me a lot about “ability”, and I have brought this awareness into my coaching sessions.

In no particular order, my ability to create change involved finding joy in the little moments; like learning how to bake a Thanksgiving turkey in our outdoor grill! I also learned how to slow cook briskets in our outdoor grill- and they turned out fabulously. A year into the RV, we built a high tunnel greenhouse that I currently use as a workout room when the temperature is comfortable. I go for trail runs and walks outside when the weather and the ground permit. I rented an office in town next to a gym for midday workouts. Meal prepping is still a challenge, but I bought a mini fridge for my office which can hold 3 meals at a time. I consider this a win! My point is that I was molded. Literally and figuratively. I had to get creative with my ability to create change because I needed to bring back self-care and my living situation was limited. Every little step creates more energy as I let go what doesn't serve my best self or my longterm health. I’m still working on self-care options, but I’m hopeful as we begin to break ground on the new buildings at the ranch, that a sense of convenience and comfort will return (never to be taken for granted again).

Whatever your obstacles are, they are worth looking at and figuring out if there are compromises or other perspectives that can be considered. Sometimes the obstacle can be shape shifted to promote unforeseen opportunities. We are not meant to stay stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you struggle with your ability to create change, but are ready and willing, I would love to meet with you for a free session. Click BOOK NOW and send me a message so we can connect. Let’s see how we can get creative and shape shift some of your obstacles.